I'm not proud of it, but I fantasize about ways to weaponize shame in some way that might penetrate the Orange Turd's seemingly impenetrable defenses. I mean a way that leaves him with nothing but a deep, heart-and-soul realization of what a worthless POS he is.
One such fantasy sees him shackled to a chair in a sound-proof room. No cameras, no microphone, no lawyers. He can't cover his ears, but a large, silvery X of heavy-duty duct tape covers that stupid, kissy-lips little mouth.
And then I play this for him—not quite loud enough to injure his ear drums—on a continuous loop. Over and over...and over again until he says the magic wordl
Donny Boy, you ridiculous little twerp, here's why—despite your obsession since childhood with winning; despite your lying, cheating, boasting, bullying, lawyering up and doubling down—you are what you are:
FAMILY LIFE
It's about as dysfunctional as it gets, isn't it? No signs of love here. You're condemned to the same relationship with your sons that you had with your father, one based solely on business...and fear. You've failed at all three of your marriages. You've repeatedly cheated on your wives—and bragged about it. It's quite obvious Melania's nothing but a showpiece to you. She hates you and sees you for the impotent crybaby you are. If she weren't legally obligated to stay with you, she'd leave you for a real man in an instant. You're so afraid your family will turn on you that you've made them all sign NDAs.
What does this say about you? It says you're a LOSER.
PERSONAL LIFE
You have no friends. Not one. Those who have to interact with you fear you and know very well the relationship hell they're in: Do your bidding, they're in; cross you once and you destroy them. You have no interest in music, art, ideas...hell, you don't even read. With your insatiable craving for attention, the only happiness you're capable of comes from the folks forced to lie about your fake accomplishments.
What does this mean? It means you're a LOSER.
BUSINESS
Born with the proverbial silver spoon in your mouth, you've failed at most of your own business ventures. You've routinely lied to get regulatory passes and financial backing. You stick it to suppliers and assault employees with your chaotic, egomaniacal management style. You're worth a fraction of what you claim, having filed for bankruptcy six times and refusing to disclose your tax returns—as nearly all U.S. presidents have. And you've been convicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records.
What does this prove about you? It proves you're a LOSER.
You lack any trace of the key elements of intelligence.
POLITICS
Like every other aspect of your life, you've achieved nothing without lying, cheating and intimidation. Your obvious envy of despots like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin proves your weakness. You quickly turned the White House and much of the federal government to chaos. You soiled the reputation of our country, dissing our allies and making us the laughing stock of the world. Obsessed with crowd sizes, hogging the stage and demanding a place in history, you're the poster boy for insecurity. You're one of just 12 U.S. presidents to fail at getting reelected.
What does this indicate? It indicates you're a LOSER.
INTELLECT
Once again, if you're constantly crowing about how smart
you are, you're probably not that smart. You were, by all accounts, a
very poor student. Otherwise, why would you have gone to such great lengths to keep your
school transcripts under wraps? You lack any trace of the key elements of
intelligence: curiosity, creativity or discipline. And you have the attention span of a toddler.
What does this show about you? It shows you're a LOSER.
SPIRITUAL LIFE
Despite an occasional Bible-totin' pose for the Christian right suckers who follow you, you're about as Christian as Attila the Hun. You exhibit not one quality espoused by Jesus Christ. Hard to acknowledge a higher power, isn't it, when you're convinced there is none higher than yourself. You're a pitiful, spiritually empty little man doomed to suffer your own private hell.
What does this mean? It means you're a LOSER.
Hey, you know what they say about small hands.
PATRIOTISM
You're a draft-dodging coward. You called true American hero John McCain a loser for his five-and-a-half years as a prisoner of war. You've debased other veterans and the very idea of military service. You've consistently expressed admiration for our country's—for Democracy's—most brazen enemies. You've sought to undermine America's democratic institutions and instigated a deadly, armed insurrection in your failed attempt to overturn your election loss.
What does this reveal about you? It reveals you're a LOSER.
MASCULINITY
You exhibit classic behavior of someone who's extremely insecure about his manhood: bragging, degrading women, obsessing over symbols of masculinity: big cars, too-long neckties and that oversized, over-bold signature that any shrink will tell you is just a long row of tiny erections. Beneath all your desperate efforts to compensate, you're an impotent wuss. Hey, you know what they say about small hands.
What does this tell us? It tells us you're a LOSER.
PHYSICAL CONDITION
You're a pale, flabby little doughball. Despite your constant posturing, you're a weakling with no self-awareness or discipline. Your much-parodied diet is that of someone who, deep down, hates himself. Your idea of fitness is having the help drive you around a golf course (where you kick your ball out of trouble so often that your playing partners call you Pele). No wonder you refuse to release the results of your physicals.
What does this disclose about you? It discloses that you're a LOSER.
You're a textbook narcissist, a pathological liar.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
You have the temperament of a spoiled-rotten four-year old. You lack four of the five components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. Beyond your flaccid ego's constant need for affirmation—and your rage at those who know you don't warrant it—you're utterly incapable of emotion.
What does this say about you? It says you're a LOSER.
PERSONALITY
You're a textbook narcissist, a pathological liar. You possess not one iota of curiosity, empathy or honor. You've never had a real friend. That's because a) you care only about yourself; b) you can't stand anyone else getting the slightest attention; c) you're a user; and d) you have absolutely nothing to offer a friend. No intelligence, no wisdom, no kindness, no generosity...hell, there's nothing at all even interesting about you.
What does this mean? It means you're a LOSER.
(... and REPEAT)
What do you think? Should we add a visual element to the verbal shock treatment? Maybe some images of his gross, doughy body? His face without makeup? Some powerful people mocking him? Testimonials from women who've witnessed his inadequacy? Other ideas?
